Today was a day like many others. After a few hours of painting, I was forced to stop due to pain and fatigue caused by Lyme’s Disease and a co-infection called Bartonella. But today I choose to reflect on how blessed I am to be completely passionate about being creative. In fact, a year ago my brain was in such a fog some days that it could hardly process just getting through the day, let alone an art project. If I didn’t have such a burning drive to create, then I am not sure what mental state I would be in. I am reluctant to leave my house as it has been embedded into my psyche that going out and interacting with humans will tire me out and cause pain.
But I actually love being home and listening to podcasts and talk shows and learning about the world around me. I am so grateful for social media because I can interact with other creatives, be inspired and sell my paintings and wall hangings without having to leave my home. I consider it a miracle that I still feel charged every morning to go into my studio and paint. I feel blessed that despite the tremor in my hands, I can still hold a paint brush. I feel gratitude that my brain is able to create goals and think about the “big ideas” in life. I feel such freedom to spend a few hours a day doing exactly what I have always dreamed of doing.
A year ago, my life was very different. I was like the walking dead. I had just enough energy to make meals, spend time with my children and lie in bed. I am so looking forward to a pain free life and a life where I don’t dread a day of being out and just doing simple errands. I look forward to being able to do something as simple as writing a blog post in the evening without such intense pain that forces me to end this post. But until that day, today was good day because I chose gratitude.